


Bloodthirsty Mangalica

by Rhen



Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: M/M, Modern AU, don't expect anything serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:02:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22440760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhen/pseuds/Rhen
Summary: Cornelius and Solomon reached the rock bottom of their relationship, but after a day full of adventure things seem to be sorted out in Cornelius's life, though not exactly as he thought it would be at the beginning of the day.If you are wondering about what the heck is a mangalica, just read the notes.
Relationships: Cornelius Hickey & Lt John Irving, Cornelius Hickey/Sgt Solomon Tozer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	Bloodthirsty Mangalica

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, first I need to tell you 3 important things.  
> First, this story wasn't really written by me. It was created by this story generator page: https://www.plot-generator.org.uk/  
> But I thought it is too good to not share it with anyone.  
> Then, a mangalica is a traditional Hungarian pig breed with curly hair. Yeah, it looks stunning...  
> And finally, János is an old-fashioned male first name, and it sounds so stupid in this text. Olso, we write our surname first and then the first name.  
> Ok, you are ready to read this miracle.

**INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - AFTERNOON**

Psycho thief MR. CORNELIUS HICKEY is arguing with hopeful marine SGT. SOLOMON TOZER. CORNELIUS tries to hug SOLOMON but he shakes him off.

CORNELIUS

Please Solomon, don't leave me.

SOLOMON

I'm sorry Cornelius, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave.Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away. 

CORNELIUS

I am such a person!

SOLOMON frowns.

SOLOMON

I'm sorry, Cornelius. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

SOLOMON leaves.

CORNELIUS sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, faithful psychiatrist LT. JOHN IRWING barges in looking flustered.

CORNELIUS

Goodness, John! Is everything okay?

JOHN

I'm afraid not.

CORNELIUS

What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

JOHN

It's... a mangalica... I saw an evil mangalica eat a bunch of goats!

CORNELIUS

_Defenseless_ goats?

JOHN

Yes, defenseless goats!

CORNELIUS

Bloomin' heck, John! We've got to do something.

JOHN

I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

CORNELIUS

You can start by telling me where this happened. 

JOHN

I was...

JOHN fans himself and begins to wheeze.

CORNELIUS

Focus John, focus! Where did it happen?

JOHN

Trafalgar Square, London! That's right! Trafalgar Square, London!

CORNELIUS springs up and begins to run.

**EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS  
**

CORNELIUS rushes along the street, followed by JOHN. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping jumping fences along the way.

**EXT. TRAFALGAR SQUARE, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER**

TUUNBAQ JÁNOS a bloodthirsty mangalica terrorises two goats. 

CORNELIUS, closely followed by JOHN, rushes towards TUUNBAQ, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

JOHN

What is it? What's the matter?

CORNELIUS

That's not just any old mangalica, that's Tuunbaq János!

JOHN

Who's Tuunbaq János?

CORNELIUS

Who's Tuunbaq János? _Who's Tuunbaq János?_ Only the most bloodthirsty mangalica in the universe!

JOHN

Blinkin' knickers, Cornelius! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most bloodthirsty mangalica in the universe!

CORNELIUS

You can say that again.

JOHN

Blinkin' knickers, Cornelius! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most bloodthirsty mangalica in the universe!

CORNELIUS

I'm going to need pokers, lots of pokers.

TUUNBAQ turns and sees Cornelius and John. He grins an evil grin.

TUUNBAQ

Cornelius Hickey, we meet again.

JOHN

You've met?

CORNELUS

Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

**EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME**

A young Cornelius is sitting in a park listening to some metal music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees TUUNBAQ. He takes off his headphones.

TUUNBAQ

Would you like some chocolate?

CORNELIUS's eyes light up, but then he studies TUUNBAQ more closely, and looks uneasy.

CORNELIUS

I don't know, you look kind of bloodthirsty.

TUUNBAQ

Me? No, I'm not bloodthirsty at all. I'm the least bloodthirsty mangalica in the world.

CORNELIUS

Wait, you're a mangalica?

CORNELIUS runs away, screaming.

**EXT. TRAFALGAR SQUARE, LONDON - PRESENT DAY**

TUUNBAQ

You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

JOHN

(To Cornelius) You ran away?

CORNELIUS

(To John) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

CORNELIUS turns toTUUNBAQ.

CORNELIUS

I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

CORNELIUS runs away.

He turnsback and shouts.

CORNELIUS

I mean, I _am_ running away, but I'll be back - _with_ pokers.

TUUNBAQ

I'm not afraid of you.

CORNELIUS

You shuld be. 

**INT. QUALITY CAFE, LOS ANGELES - LATER THAT DAY**

CORNELIUS and JOHN walk around searching for something.

CORNELIUS

i feel sure I left my pokers somewhere around here.

JOHN

Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly pokers.

CORNELIUS

You know nothing John Irwing.

JOHN

We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they are here. 

Suddenly, TUUNBAQ appears, holding a pair of pokers.

TUUNBAQ

Looking for something?

JOHN

Crickey, Cornelius, he'sgot your pokers.

CORNELIUS

Tell me something I don't already know!

JOHN

The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40.065 km.

CORNELIUS

I know that already!

JOHN

I'm afraid of ducks.

TUUNBAQ

(appalled) Dude!

While TUUNBAQ is looking at JOHN with disgust, CORNELIUS lunges forward and grabs his deadly pokers. He wields them, triumphantly.

CORNELIUS

Prepare to die, you bloodthirsty potato!

TUUNBAQ

No please! All I did was eat a bunch of goats!

SOLOMON enters, unseen by any of the others.

CORNELIUS

I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those goats were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Cornelius Hickey, defender of innocent goats!

TUUNBAQ

Don't hurt me! Please!

CORNELIUS

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these pokers on you right away!

TUUNBAQ

Because Cornelius, I am your father.

CORNELIUS looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

CORNELIUS

No you're not!

TUUNBAQ

Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

TUUNBAQ tries to grab the pokers but CONELIUS dodges out of the way.

CORNELIUS

Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, TUUNBAQ slumps to the ground.

JOHN

Did he just faint?

CORNELIUS

I think so. Well that's disapponting. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly pokers.

CORNELIUS crouches over TUUNBAQ's body.

jOHN

Be careful, Cornelius. It could be a trick.

CORNELIUS

No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Tuunbaq János is dead!

jOHN

What?

CORNELIUS

Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

JOHN claps his heands.

JOHN

So your pokers did save the day, after all.

SOLOMON steps forward.

SOLOMON

Is it true? Did you kill the bloodthirsty mangalica?

CORNELIUS

Solomon, how long have you been...?

SOLOMON puts his hand around CORNELIUS.

SOLOMON

Long enough.

CORNELIUS

Thaen you saw it for yourself. I killed Tuunbaq János.

SOLOMON

Then the goats are safe?

CORNELIUS

It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable goats enter, looking relieved.

SOLOMON

You are their hero.

The goats bow to CORNELIUS.

CORNELIUS

There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Tuunbaq János will never eat goats ever again, is enough for me.

SOLOMON

You are humble as well as brave!

One of the goats passes CORNELIUS a golden ring.

SOLOMON

I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

CORNELIUS

I coluld't possibly.

(Pause)

Well, if you insist.

CORNELIUS takes the ring.

CORNELIUS

Thank you.

The goats bow their heads once more, and leave.

CORNELIUS turns to SOLOMON.

CORNELIUS

Does this mean you want me back?

SOLOMON

Oh, Cornelius, of course I want you back!

CORNELIUS smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

CORNELIUS

Well you can't have me!

SOLOMON

WHAT?

CORNELIUS

You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a mangalica to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

SOLOMON

But...

CORNELIUS

Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend. John.

JOHN grins.

SOLOMON

But...

JOHN

You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

SOLOMON

Cornelius?

CORNELIUS

I'm sorry Solomon, but I think you _should_ skidaddle.

SOLOMON leaves.

JOHN turns to CORNELIUS.

JOHN

Did you mean that? You know... that I'm your best friend?

CORNELIUS

Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly JOHN stops.

JOHN

When I said I'm afraid of ducks, you know I was just trying to distract the mangalica don't you?

THE END


End file.
